30 Oct

“If you are divided from your body you are also divided from the body of the world. Which then appears to be other than you or separate from you rather than the living continuum of which you belong.”


Humble yourself to the mysterious force that is nature, that is you, that is the storm passing in the night…..we are woven between things, through things and as things that go bump in the night. Humble yourself. You do not know what lies on the other side or for why your life takes turns in directions you thought were meant for other people. We are playing a role in this life, each human being has a story of some way that life spoke to them, each way they had to confront their own darkness to gather the strength to meet the light at the center of the storm.
Humble yourself.


Words in the Morning

22 Oct

Today, I find is an auspicious day. October 22, 2012…10/22/12. I wake this morning after an evening with friends, some new, some old, some strangers in a beautiful temple home beyond the understanding of beauty. It is rare in NYC to have such space. That being said, if we had all sat in a straw hut, I think we could have had an equally good time. I was fed not only good food, but stimulating, creative and heart opening conversation, great music and beautiful art. Beauty was coming from all directions.

This morning as I sat meditating, poetry started coming thru, finally, after so long a time being disconnected from this part of me. This part of me that needs the stillness and the silence and the sacred space to manifest itself. Words appeared without effort and a peace came to my heart, a peace I finally exhaled into. NYC can buzz you in so many directions, you can lose sight of this peace too quickly as far as I am concerned. And then I drew a medicine card, that simply said, “create your art from stillness”. Perfect timing I might add as a beloved teacher of mine transitions into stillness, the teachings of her work suddenly crystallizing into my life as this great transition rocks all of us, her students, to their hearts. Realizing what she has offered to us in her lifetime, and what will continue on after her form is gone.  It’s a powerful time.

Coming into this quiet space, feels to me like the most important part of healing. Letting in not only the healing frequencies of love but also the messages that one needs in order to make decisions about things in the outer world. To find the correct course of action that is in line with what you hold dearest.  To pray about what is troubling you. To express yourself to the universe in the faith that some intelligence that makes everything GO, is listening, is watching, is reflecting back to you, your own lessons as easily or as difficult as you decide to make them. Breast Cancer, or cancer of any kind, is always an opportunity to go deeper into this truth, to watch this truth in action. It is not the time to feed the victim trip. Definitely not a powerful choice. It’s also not the time to beat yourself up for creating it in the first place. Sometimes I can take that “I created this” thing into “what an idiot I am for making this lesson have to be so difficult, couldn’t I have chosen something else”. This is just another subtle way to put yourself in the shame/wrong box with the surface looking like its “taking responsibility”. As you see, we get deeper and deeper into the layers of how the mind can deceive us. The truth is that there is no judgement on what has happened. IT IS WHAT IT IS FOR REASONS NEITHER GOOD OR BAD. The best and most powerfully healing thing you can do is learn an extreme acceptance for all that is. This acceptance creates miracles on many levels….NO, I am not claiming simply accepting yourself will reverse cancer cells….but maybe its true:)

After I pondered these truths, I read again in the wise person book…I AM THE DOOR, by Paul Ferrini, the guy who claims he channels Jesus. I don’t know if he actually had Jesus talk to him, all I know is the words in his book speak to my heart. SO I listen.  Often I find the page I turn to reflects the themes I feel life is sharing with me.

“When you become burdened by the affairs of the world, take sanctuary in a quiet place. Let go of your worries and fears about the future. Stop clinging to your guilt about what you have said and done in the past.

Let your heart be mended. Then you can make amends with anyone you have treated unkindly.

Learn to forgive yourself. No matter what you have said or done, you do not deserve to suffer. Your suffering will not feed the hungry or heal the sick.

Forgive and come back into your life with a clear vision and a strong heart. Your freedom from guilt serves not just you, but also those who need your kind deeds and your compassionate understanding.”

I hope this offers you something for your own lives and brings a greater sense of sweetness to your steps today and all the days. And when that sense of sweetness isn’t there, I hope you pause and reflect where your fear has come in to obscure the heart. And trust that this heart will right all things and you will be taken care of.

In trust and faith that the healing is happening in just the right ways.

To order I AM THE DOOR, by Paul Ferrini, click here::

Eve Ensler:: Suddenly My Body

21 Oct

This woman rocks….so inspiring…..her views on cancer are profound and her connection to herself and her experience….super great watching.


The Dark Knight/Night

21 Oct

Sometimes the dark night of the soul is the Dark Knight of the soul….The energy of the dark, comes to find you to reveal the light inside…I recently returned to meditating. And for that I made a special spot in my bedroom for an altar and a place to hold a sacred book and a sacred journal. The book is called “I Am The Door” by Paul Ferrini with a picture of Jesus on the cover.  Its by a man to claim he channels jesus….but besides the new agey claim, which I am not even going to discuss whether I believe he is for real or not, the book contains wisdom.  No matter what page I turn to,  the words truley speak to me. Which I believe is what Jesus would speak if he could, and which is what I believe Jesus to be, a whole lotta wise person, that speaks to your deepest soul. So don’t get caught up in the messenger, but take in the message and if it speaks to you, well then by all means, LET IT!

This morning I read this qoute:

“God comes through your gesture of acceptance toward your ego mind with all its fearful imaginings. He comes in the love and compassion you bring to the wounded one within you and outside you. He comes when you reach down to embrace the dark wings that hover in front of the door of your fear.

These wings will not hurt you. They will not rob you of your innocence, no matter how much abuse has been given or recieved. See through the dark disguise and come into the warmth of these wings. There is a door here that leads straight to the heart.

You cannot come to God if you don’t go through the dark night of the soul. All your fear and shame must be raised. All your feelings of separation must come up for healing. How can you raise from the ashes of your pain unless you will acknowledge the pain?

If you pretend the wound isn’t there, you can’t begin your spiritual journey. Don’t deny that it hurts. Come into your pain. It is not what you think it is.

When you have the courage to approach the wall of your fear, it turns into a doorway. Come through this door. I am waiting for you on the other side.” -From “I am the Door” by Paul Ferrini

Now when he says I am waiting for you on the other side, I think of this more like LOVE is waiting for you on the other side….or maybe Jesus actually will meet you there, who knows, but its more like “we have nothing to fear, but fear itself”:)
Hope this inspires you to tell the truth about your experience and find solace in knowing, all parts of you, all fears, trips, neurotic meanderings of mind, can and will lead you to the holiness inside of you if you embrace the truth of your experience. Right now. Authentic and Raw. Transparent.

If you would like to order the book, click here:

Love and Blessings in all the Ways you reach for the Sun….

The Cancer Personality: Who Gets Cancer?

16 Oct

Great exerpt from the website http://www.alternative-cancer-care.com


The Cancer Personality: Who Gets Cancer?

W. Douglas Brodie, MD: In dealing with many thousands of cancer patients over the past 28 years, it has been my observation that there are certain personality traits present in the cancer-susceptible individual. These traits are as follows:

1. Being highly conscientious, caring, dutiful, responsible, hard-working, and usually of above average intelligence.

2. Exhibits a strong tendency toward carrying other people’s burdens and toward taking on extra obligations, and often “worrying for others.”

3. Having a deep-seated need to make others happy. Being a “people pleaser” with a great need for approval.

4. Often lacking closeness with one or both parents, which sometimes, later in life, results in lack of closeness with spouse or others who would normally be close.

5. Harbours long-suppressed toxic emotions, such as anger, resentment and/or hostility. The cancer-susceptible individual typically internalizes such emotions and has great difficulty expressing them.

6. Reacts adversely to stress, and often becomes unable to cope adequately with such stress. Usually experiences an especially damaging event about 2 years before the onset of detectable cancer. The patient is not able to cope with this traumatic event or series of events, which comes as a “last straw” on top of years of suppressed reactions to stress.

7. Has an inability to resolve deep-seated emotional problems and conflicts, usually beginning in childhood, often even being unaware of their presence.

Typical of the cancer-susceptible personality, as noted above, is the long-standing tendency to suppress “toxic emotions”, particularly anger. Usually beginning in childhood, this individual has held in their hostility and other unacceptable emotions. More often than not, this feature of the affected personality has its origins in feelings of rejection by one or both parents.  Whether these feelings of rejection are justified or not, the individual perceives this rejection as real, and this results in a lack of closeness with the “rejecting” parent, followed later in life by a lack of closeness with spouses and others with whom close relationships would normally develop. Those at the higher risk for cancer tend to develop feelings of loneliness as a result of their having been deprived of affection and acceptance earlier in life, even if this is only their perception. They have a tremendous need for approval and acceptance, and develop a very high sensitivity to the needs of others while suppressing their own emotional needs.

They become the “caretakers” of the world, showing great compassion and caring for others, and will go out of their way to look after others. They are very reluctant to accept help from others, fearing that it may jeopardize their role as the caretaker. Throughout their childhood they have been typically taught “not to be selfish”, and they take this to heart as a major lifetime objective.  All of this is highly commendable in our culture, but must be somehow modified in the case of the cancer patient. A distinction needs to be made here between the “care-giving” and the “care-taking” personality. There is nothing wrong with care-giving, of course, but the problem arises when the susceptible individual derives their entire worth, value and identity from their role as “caretaker”. If this very important shift cannot be made, the patient is stuck in this role, and the susceptibility to cancer greatly increases.

As already stated, a consistent feature of those who are susceptible to cancer appears to be that they “suffer in silence”, and bear their burdens without complaint. These burdens of their own as well as the burdens of others weigh heavily upon these people through a lifetime of emotional suppression. The carefree extrovert, on the other hand, seems to be far less vulnerable to cancer than the caring introvert described above.

How one reacts to stress appears to be a major factor in the larger number of contributing causes of cancer. Most cancer patients have experienced a highly stressful event, usually about 2 years prior to the onset of detectable disease. This traumatic event is often beyond the patient’s control, such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a business, job, home, or some other major disaster. The typical cancer personality has lost the ability to cope with these extreme events, because his/her coping mechanism lies in his/her ability to control the environment. When this control is lost, the patient has no other way to cope.

Major stress causes suppression of the immune system, and does so more overwhelmingly in the cancer-susceptible individual than in others. Thus personal tragedies and excessive levels of stress appear to combine with the underlying personality described above to bring on the immune deficiency which allows cancer to thrive.

The Cancer Personality: How Inescapable Shock Causes Cancer

For the majority of people, coping with stress and highly stressful or traumatic events or conflicts is dealt with, with relative ease.  Although those in this larger group feel the devastating effects of stress, stressful events, trauma, and conflicts, including grief and loss – stressful events are seen as part of life’s challenges, life’s ups and downs, and they are for they most part anticipated and not completely unexpected.  These people are able to move on with their lives quickly afterwards.

Those susceptible to cancer, are highly vulnerable to life’s stresses and trauma, and feel unable to cope when life throws a curve-ball their way.   These people are perfectionists and live in fear of conflict, stress, trauma and loss and are deeply frightened of negative events “happening” to them.   And when faced with a highly stressful or traumatic event they have not anticipated, which inevitably happens during their life, react adversely and are unable to cope.

They experience Inescapable Shock and remain deeply affected by the experience.  They have difficulty in expressing their inner grief, their inner pain, their inner anger or resentment, and genuinely feel there is no way out of the pain they are feeling inside.  And because their mind cannot fathom what has happened, and remains in a state of disbelief or denial, these inner painful feelings are continually perpetuated, shooting up stress levels, lowering melatonin and adrenaline levels, causing a slow breakdown of the emotional reflex centre in the brain, and creating the beginning of cancer progression in the body.

When faced with a major trauma, the cancer personality feels trapped and unable to escape from the memory of the traumatic experience and the painful feelings of the experience.  Stress hormone cortisol levels skyrocket and remain at high levels, directly suppressing the immune system, whose job it is to destroy cancer cells that exist in every human being.  High stress levels generally means a person cannot sleep well, and cannot produce enough Melatonin during deep sleep.  Melatonin is responsible for inhibiting cancer cell growth.   This means cancer cells are now free to multiply.  Adrenaline levels also skyrocket initially, but are then drained and depleted over time.  This is especially bad news for the cancer personality.

Adrenaline is responsible for transporting sugar away from cells.  And when there is no adrenaline left, sugar builds up in cells of the body.  Viral-bacterial-yeast-like-fungus then inhabit normal cells to feed on this excess sugar, breaking the cell’s (oxygen) krebs cycle.  This means normal body cells cannot breathe properly because of low oxygen and mutate during the dividing process into cancer cells.  Cancer cells thrive in a low oxygen state, as demonstrated by Nobel Prize winner Otto Warburg.  Cancer cells also thrive on fermented sugar for cell division, and this is provided by the viral-bacterial-yeast-like-fungus that ferment and feed on sugar in the perfect symbiotic relationship.

Put simply, too much internal stress causes a depletion of adrenaline, leads to too much sugar in the body’s cells, resulting in the perfect environment for cancer cells to thrive in the body.

For the cancer personality, the news of being diagnosed with cancer and the fear and uncertainty of death represents another Inescapable Shock, creating another spike in stress hormone cortisol levels, and a further drop in melatonin and adrenalin levels.  There is also a further breakdown of the emotional reflex centre in the brain that causes cells in the corresponding organ to slowly breakdown and become cancerous.

Learned helplessness is a key aspect of the cancer personality when facing a perceived inescapable shock, and is a strong causal factor of cancer. Researcher Madelon Visintainer took three groups of rats, one receiving mild escapable shock, another group receiving mild in-escapable shock, and the third no shock at all. She then implanted each rat with cancer cells that would normally result in 50% of the rats developing a tumour. Her results were astonishing.

Within a month, 50% of the rats not shocked at all had rejected the tumour; this was the normal ratio. As for the rats that mastered shock by pressing a bar to turn it off, 70% had rejected the tumour. But only 27% of the helpless rats, the rats that had experienced in-escapable shock, rejected the tumour. This study demonstrates those who feel there is no way out of their shock / loss are less likely to be able to reject tumours forming within their body, due to high levels of stress weakening the immune system. [Seligman, 1998, p.170]
Dr Ryke Geerd Hamer: How Unresolved Trauma Causes Cancer

One of the most recent studies on psychosomatic cancer therapy comes from Germany. Over the past ten years, medical doctor / surgeon Ryke-Geerd Hamer has examined 20,000 cancer patients with all types of cancer.

Dr. Hamer wondered why cancer never seems to systematically spread directly from one organ to the surrounding tissue. For example, he never found cancer of the cervix AND cancer of the uterus in the same woman. He also noticed that all his cancer patients seemed to have something in common: there had been some kind of psycho emotional conflict prior to the onset of their disease – usually a few years before – a conflict that had never been fully resolved.

X-rays taken of the brain by cancer Dr. Hamer showed in all cases a ‘dark shadow’ somewhere in the brain. These dark spots would be in exactly the same place in the brain for the same types of cancer. There was also a 100% correlation between the dark spot in the brain, the location of the cancer in the body and the specific type of unresolved conflict. On the basis of these findings, Dr. Hamer suggests that when we are in a stressful conflict that is not resolved, the emotional reflex center in the brain which corresponds to the experienced emotion (e.g : anger, frustration, grief) will slowly break down. Each of these emotion centers are connected to a specific organ. When a center breaks down, it will start sending wrong information to the organ it controls, resulting in the formation of deformed cells in the tissues: cancer cells. He also suggests that metastasis is not the SAME cancer spreading. It is the result of new conflicts that may well be brought on by the very stress of having cancer or of invasive and painful or nauseating therapies.

Dr Hamer started including psychotherapy as an important part of the healing process and found that when the specific conflict was resolved, the cancer immediately stopped growing at a cellular level. The dark spot in the brain started to disappear. X-rays of the brain now showed a healing edema around the damaged emotional center as the brain tissue began to repair the afflicted point. There was once again normal communication between brain and body. A similar healing edema could also be seen around the now inactive cancer tissue. Eventually, the cancer would become encapsulated, discharged or dealt with by the natural action of the body. Diseased tissue would disappear and normal tissue would then again appear.

According to cancer Dr Hamer the real cause of cancer and other diseases is an unexpected traumatic shock for which we are emotionally unprepared. The following list shows some of the relationships between conflict emotions and target organs.

 Organ  Unresolved Conflict
 Adrenal Cortex  Wrong Direction.  Gone Astray
 Bladder  Ugly Conflict.  Dirty Tricks
 Bone  Lack of Self-Worth.  Inferiority Feeling
 Brain Tumor  Stubborness.  Refusing to Change Old Patterns.  Mental Frustration
 Breast Milk Gland  Involving Care or Disharmony
 Breast Milk Duct  Separation Conflict
 Breast (Left)  Conflict Concerning Child, Home, or Mother
 Breast (Right)  Conflict with Partner or Others
 Bronchioles  Territorial Conflict
 Cervix  Severe Frustration
 Colon  Ugly Indigestible Conflict
 Esophagus  Cannot Have it or Swallow it
 Gall Bladder  Rivalry Conflict
 Heart  Perpetual Conflict
 Intestines  Indigestible Chunk of Anger
 Kidneys  Not Wanting to Live.  Water or Fluid Conflict
 Larynx  Conflict of Fear and Fright
 Liver  Fear of Starvation
 Lungs  Fear of Dying or Suffocation, including Fear for Someone Else
 Lymph Glands  Loss of Self-Worth associated with the Location
 Melanoma  Feeling Dirty, Soiled, Defiled
 Middle Ear  Not being able to get some Vital Information
 Mouth  Cannot Chew It or Hold It
 Pancreas  Anxiety-Anger Conflict with Family Members.  Inheritence
 Prostate  Ugly Conflict with Sexual Connections or Connotations
 Rectum  Fear of Being Useless
 Skin  Loss of Integrity
 Spleen  Shock of Being Physically or Emotionally Wounded
 Stomach  Indigestible Anger.  Swallowed Too Much
 Testes and Ovaries  Loss Conflict
 Thyroid  Feeling Powerless
 Tumor (in location)  Nursing old Hurts and Shocks.  Building Remorse
 Uterus  Sexual Conflict

Hello world!

23 Jun

Welcome to WordPress.com. After you read this, you should delete and write your own post, with a new title above. Or hit Add New on the left (of the admin dashboard) to start a fresh post.

Here are some suggestions for your first post.

  1. You can find new ideas for what to blog about by reading the Daily Post.
  2. Add PressThis to your browser. It creates a new blog post for you about any interesting  page you read on the web.
  3. Make some changes to this page, and then hit preview on the right. You can alway preview any post or edit you before you share it to the world.